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symonx

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These Days

1 min read

First heard this song as Nico's version, or at least it's the one that made the biggest impression on me. When Margot gets off that bus in The Royal Tenenbaums and the song starts playing my fucking heart shatters into a trillion pieces.

At some point I realized it was written by Jackson Browne. Despite growing up around music and experiencing a pretty eclectic buffet of genres and voices, I'd managed to miss Jackson Browne. The history of the song is interesting. He wrote it when he was very young. You can find several of his performances on YT to enjoy. But here's him talking about the origins of the song with Sam Jones.

But now I have a new favorite. It's perfect. Not a cover, but a performance. It's performed by my favorite duo, "The Other Favorites".

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The Fort

1 min read
Cabin4

They called it “The Fort” - a little refuge made with fallen tree branches arranged around a group of rocks. It sits in the forest just a short walk from the family cabin in Big Bear Lake, California.


Alena and her cousins would rebuild the fort on their visits as children. I took over duties when I started visiting the cabin with her and her family. I was probably 19 then. Now I’m 42. We haven’t rebuilt the fort in years, but we decided to take a short trip up here while the kids are on spring break.


Our kids are 9 and 6, and I think this is the first time they’ve seen the fort. It doesn’t mean anything to them yet, maybe one day it will. But right now they’re just happy to be out of the house.


It’s a very small thing, this pile of rocks and dead branches. But I feel the history there and that’s.. comforting, or something in that direction, it’s hard to explain. I recognized some of the branches and logs, the shapes, it’s all the same. Sort of collapsed, some things buried a bit, but largely undisturbed.

Cabin3
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A Break

3 min read

Vacation going pretty good, got the fam out of town for a few days, holed up in a nice cabin in Big Bear hah, had a good time doing close to nothing, just being a different space. Also I've kinda been stomping in the game I play:

Destinystats

Destiny 2 is not a serious / competitive pvp game but it still feels good. Haven't played this well in a while. Also, because I have the mind of a child, I changed my gamertag to "the ol razzle dazzle" so I can laugh at the kill feed when it says like "so and so was killed by the ol razzle dazzle". Good times.


What else am I doing

Been trying really hard not to doom scroll twitter/reddit -- it's been pretty difficult for me to avoid that over the last couple of years, and especially this year. My heart aches for our country and our world, and for all the people out there who are treated like less than human. It's easy for me to fall into a mode of feeling like I am not contributing enough, but as I'm getting older I'm learning more how to be a little easier on myself and to better recognize the ways in which I am creating good in the world and standing up for what I believe is true and just.


Part of this effort at this point in my life is to focus on raising two kids to be empathetic, engaged, aware, and balanced human beings. Or better said: at least trying to do that. Setting the table, creating the conditions for it. Being on a break from work is allowing me to do some thinking/writing/planning on that front, and it's also giving me a nice recharge.


Breaks are good.


Podcast Recommendations

Really Long Distance - This American Life

Miki Meek tells the story of a phone booth in Japan that attracts thousands of people who lost loved ones in the 2011 tsunami and earthquake. A Japanese TV crew from NHK Sendai filmed people inside the phone booth, whose phone is not connected to anything at all.


A devastating indictment of the Republican Party - The Ezra Klein Show

Interview with Stuart Stevens, who was one of the most influential operatives in Republican politics.


The Case of the Missing Hit - Reply All

Absolutely intriguing story about a man haunted by the memory of a pop song from his youth. He remembers the lyrics and the melody, but the song itself has vanished, completely scrubbed from the internet. PJ takes on the Super Tech Support case.

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Here are some paintings by Ivy that she gave to me recently.

Trying pretty hard not to be one of those parents who thinks their kids are gifted (and who won't shut up about them). I just want to think about what I love about these watercolor paintings.

I asked her to name these, one by one, and she called them all lands. Gently I told her they didn't have to all be lands just because the first one was named that way. But she was sure. I like that. She's thinking about world building.

That instinct is probably encouraged by the way she and her brother play together. Jesse is 8 now, but when he was 3 I would play with him and say things like, "Let's pretend we're bears." We'd make a "bear nest" or cave and forage for food. And later when he was old enough to watch The Jungle Book, we'd pretend like Shere Kahn was around and we had to fight him.

These days Jesse and Ivy play together like that. But they have their own shorthand. They say, "ten-you-say", all run together. It means, "Pretend you said (insert line here)". They say it to each other when they want to direct the other one which way the story should go.

The three of us started playing Minecraft together a couple of months ago, and that is all about world building. It's fascinating how they gravitate to different aspects. Jesse likes to build machines and bases. Ivy has always emphasized a safe place to live and a treasure chest full of "lots of food".

In fact, "lots of food" is a phrase she used to say a lot when playing house around the age of 3. I mean, this has been a focus of hers since way back. :) Her mother and I always found this pretty funny because: these are children who have wanted for nothing. But of course her instinct doesn't come from a place of wanting; it's just what matters to her.

Her use of color is not constrained. The sun is not always yellow. The stars are sometimes red, the sky purple. Spectacular! I also enjoy that the balance of colors is not even. In "Water Land" there are only hints of green and beige, and it's beautiful. Her rainbow isn't a traditional half circle, but fills the entire page. And the colors aren't ordered naturally. Her hearts are not always red or pink.

Above all, she paints the way she should: with childlike wonder. She is not overthinking anything. She has no grand plan. She is free. It's pure expression.




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During the holiday break I played Minecraft with my two kids and we made something together! It is a castle-like structure on a scale we haven't tackled before. We started by copying a design we found on Youtube here. And we added our own accents and features.


They're just 8 and 5 years old but they communicated really well and actually contributed quite a bit! Most of all, I think they had a lot of fun and got some good satisfaction in building this together - a real sense of accomplishment!

2020-01-02

Also, it was great to be able to play cross-platform - me on my PC, Jesse on his Xbox, and Ivy on her Nintendo Switch she just got.


They have such interesting ideas. It's so special how they can surprise you with how they think, what they say, and how fast they learn. Super happy for this time together.

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Looking at Ivys Paintings by symonx, journal

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